God, I Gotta Get Out of Here

Is it normal to feel so alone at such a young age? I don't mean alone as being un-accepted or popular. I've always had friends, more than I care for, and I "fit in." But this place, this county, this town, it feels so... shallow.

Everyone here is content. Their content with working in a factory on an assembly line from nine to five everyday. Content with raising a few kids and sending them to the same high school they went to. Content with dying without ever seeing the world in all its glory. Content without analyzing the depts of their emotions, and pondering the questions of life.

Sometimes I feel cursed with this mind God has given me. This artistic nature to try to produce something beautiful, and understand my emotions, and think deeper than the content factory worker. Its great in some sense, because some may say that Im talented. But imagine not being able to sleep at night because the windmill in my mind never stops turning. I lie awake, sometimes on the near point of an anxiety attack, thinking about death, or loneliness, or religion, or trying to justify my anger and resent. And I dont drift off to sleep. I become so exhausted sleep over takes me. And when I finally do sleep, its always black. No dreams. I remember having five dreams my entire life.

And then I have this desire, born of flame, and burning deep down within the very essence of who I am. Its burning, burning... burning. Its my calling. And Im not sure what its direction is, but its goal is greatness.

And sometimes at night, I lie awake thinking about the road, and adventuring like the hippies of yesterday.
God, I gotta get out of here.